Most of us were never taught what to do with difficult emotions. So we push them away, spin stories about them, or get swallowed by them. The 3R Model offers a map — not to escape what you feel, but to move through it with more ease and less suffering. Notice where you recognise yourself as you read each R.
This is the first thing we do with an uncomfortable emotion: avoid it. We distract, intellectualise, stay busy, or go numb. Resistance isn't a flaw — it was a learned survival pattern. But when we keep pushing an emotion away, it doesn't disappear. It grows louder.
Secondary emotions pile on top of the first. We feel anxious about the anxiety, ashamed of the anger, frustrated by the sadness. This is the spinning — emotions reacting to themselves in an endless hall of mirrors. The further we spiral, the harder it becomes to find the original feeling underneath.
R.E.L.A.X. is not a relaxation technique. It's a way of turning toward what's here — with curiosity instead of fear. When we stop fighting an emotion and simply be with it, something shifts. The feeling can finally move. Use the next page for the full practice.
When a strong emotion arises, pause. You don't need to fix it, explain it, or make it go away. Move through each step slowly — you're not solving a problem. You're meeting yourself.
Try this: Next time you notice a strong emotion, pause. Put a hand on your chest or belly. Then walk through R — E — L — A — X, one breath at a time. Use this space to journal what you notice. There are no right answers. Just what's true for you, right now.
This worksheet is a starting point. But lasting change — the kind that shifts how you lead, decide, and show up — happens with guidance.
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